Just for Laughs:
Humorous Situations
last revised: 5/14/01
If it's Friday Actual Newspaper Headlines


The following are the top ten ways you know its Friday:

10. It's a beautiful day, at least it looks like it from your office window.
9. Your boss tries to explain the wisdom behind firing you today vs. Monday.
8. You do even less work than you normally act like your doing.
7. You distinctly recall Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of this week.
6. TGIF's restaurant is not partaking in false advertising.
5. Your employees take a 3 day lunch.
4. You receive your Freebie Friday newsletter.
3. You are subject to an abnormal amount of "tie in" marketing (see #4).
2. The sky is blue; you still don't know why and you don't care.
1. Your calendar, day planner, watch, laptop, email, and cell phone all say so.




 
Subject: Actual Newspaper Headlines
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Eye Drops Off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Deer Kill 17,000 Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
  

Created by   a division of   All rights reserved©